Waiting Anxiously

Aunt Cindy I need an invite to your blog!! ktcluff@gmail.com :)
*This isn’t a post men will enjoy reading so skip this one unless you like birthing stories*
Well I am just sitting here waiting for Tuesday to come. I am scheduled to have a c-section at 6:00am and have to be there at 4:00. This is my first c-section and I am pretty nervous because I just don’t know what to expect. For those of you wondering why on my fourth kid am I getting a c-section?? Well here’s why, I rip pretty good every time. With Landon I ripped to a 4th degree tear which is all the way to my bum hole. It didn’t help the fact that he was HUGE!! With Gaige it wasn’t as bad it was only a 2nd degree tear into the tissue and my theory is because I had Kiley and Gaige so close together that my body was still more loose and able to handle it. Kiley my first was only 6 lbs 11 oz and I ripped to a 3rd degree which is into the muscle. You think with her that small I wouldn’t have a problem but I do. Here’s what it is: My doctor (Dr. Huish he rocks!) told me that from my vagina to my bum hole is only half the distance compared to everyone else so a little rip for you is a big one for me. I am a little perturbed because this is the first Dr. that has told me that I am like that down there. It would have been nice to know! Anyway, I healed really nice after having Landon (my Doc stitched me up good!) I feel better than after having Kiley. And my last Dr. also told me that I healed so good that he would recommend getting a c-section next time so I wouldn’t mess my self up more. I also didn’t want to risk having permanent damage and not feeling good down there for the rest of my life. I already have a few problems after Landon so I didn’t want to add to that. Oh and my other option besides a c-section was to have a diagonal episiotomy. Sounds fun right?!? Being cut right into the muscles and still having a chance that I might rip from that episiotomy and have it curve to my bum hole. Real fun! So I decided after a lot of prayer and ruling out my pros and cons to both, that since I’ll probably only be having maybe one more after this, that a c-section was the best route to go, oh and besides the fact that I can heal faster from a c-section than a 4th degree tear. I just know it is going to be a different kind of pain and am trying to go in with a positive attitude and have talked to a lot of girls in my ward to help prepare myself. Anyway, wish me luck!